Vacation Reflection

We all can agree that our thought follow us everywhere- even on vacation. This fourth of July, as I was waiting waiting to eat breakfast at a Hamton Inn, a thought came to my mind. So, I ran up to the the lady standing at the front desk, in front of where I was sitting, for a napkin. I needed to write what I was feeling at the time even thought I wasn't exactly sure where it was going. I missed at least two oppturnity to get some eggs from the free breakfast, but it seemed that my boyfriend and I missed. A lady that stayed there went up to the lady at the front desk to complain about the service and how there is only one girl working the breakfast. She was upset that there wasn't any breakfast left for her two, young daughters. I had a yogurt in my hand and walked over to offer it to the woman. Even though she didn't take, it, she seemed really appreciative that I offered. It wasn't a big deal, but I felt like I was involved in the situation in a small way, and it made me feel good to care.

We all have natural instincts inside us to help people and support one another- some a lot more than others. When people around us have troubles, we listen in ( and it's not always because we like to easdrop) We are actually connecting. We are linking ourselves either because we understand, agree, or feel so strongly about. This situation was not so serious, but it makes me think. We want to be involved in what is going on around us. We want to reach out and be the ones to have the solutions.

What happens when you haven't written anything in a long time? You start to get used to it and you don't think you will ever get back into the grove of things again. Then, instead of getting occasional floods of inspirations, thoughts become incomplete and you don't feel like you have enough material. I am guilty of all of this, and I'm sure many writer's get into these droughts as well. I will get ideas, but I constantly let them slip by because I haven't been motivated enough to capture them and deliver them home. I give myself so many excuses, but.. I really been ignoring the fact that writing is a part of me. I feel it and I know its there, and that's way I feel guilty when I don't write. I have been comfortable with not writing, but not satisfied. We all need to do that one thing in our lives that makes us feel good. We all have special talents and when we proudly display them, it gives us more self worth and gives us more of a sense of accomplishment in our. "I wrote that." "I designed that." "I built that." Even if I don't write, and I give myself the "I'm tired" excuse day after day, I know that writing is still a part of me and I'm still allowed to call myself a writer. It doesn't mean that I hate doing it. I doubt myself a lot and question my abilities, and I may get discouraged from even starting half of the time, but once I begin, it's relief- the "get off my ass and finally do something productive after watching TV for so long" feeling.

Don't think that just because you are not writing now, that there's something wrong with you. Writing isn't easy. Just thinking about it isn't easy. It's a whole lot of exercise and digging into our souls. It's exhausted. I don't blame anyone for not always running to find a piece of paper and pen.

Math and Writing

I recently realized that there is beauty in all things we love. I was never great at math because I never understood it and it would take me forever to get the right answer or even decipher the problem. I feel that the major difference between math and writing is that in math, there are solutions- yes, sometimes, the answer is "0" or undetermined, but there is still an answer to infer.

Writing is based upon one's own interpretation, craft, and passion. A person can teach someone how to write but unless you are passionate about what you write and understand its craft, it won't come to you. Poetry as well as fiction or non-fiction cannot be perfected- it can be finished for the time being or to our liking, but we can not ever say "this piece is done and doesn't need any further improvement.

Like math, writing is also a challenge, but the answers in a desirable piece come from how the author perceives it. I love a lot of my poems. I am proud of them and feel that they have promise, but others I know need work. I like the fact that we can all improve our writing until it becomes what we are honestly proud of. We just have to keep on editing! And for those mathematicians out there, the answers are soon to come. You just have to keep at it. A lot of times, when I was in school, I received bad grades in Math and good grades in English classes. This is because it was hard for me to figure out how to solve certain math problems when I wasn't able to understand how the teacher did it. It would become frustrating for me and because I couldn't get the answers, I didn't love it. When it came to writing, I had the imagination to create my stories and poems and I felt I loved coming to a solution I was happy with. This is my passion.

Now I see that just because math isn't my passion, it doesn't mean that it is boring or dull. In fact, just recently I took my last class in college in a computer class and there was math work that I had to do. I was so excited and relieved when I found out that I was able to understand the math work and I actually liked it! This was because I knew what to do and I was able to the see the art in math. It is incredible the design work you have to sometimes do to get to an answer but no matter what, the answer is always there. Maybe Math and Writing can be friends after all.

Follow your Words

I learned just recently when writing my poems that they aren't the same as they used to be. I remmeber when I used to gain inspriation from all the negative in my life and I would write a poem out of it. I even started to give myself the name "Dark Poet" But when I needed to write my poetry manusript for my seminar class, I was open to writing about anything that would come to my mind. I found myself getting inspired by many things such as people around me, weather, or anything else. I didn't have to stick to my usual inspriation pattern. If writing is truly something you like to do, it stays with you and follows you everywhere you go.

The Dark Poet

I’m quenched by the stillness

of ignored puddles against a curb

stepped over by those without time

avoiding unnecessary imperfections

My hunger vanishes from the grayness

I welcome and embrace

The sun burns away my thoughts

Tells me to use him for play

where all the world comes out from hiding

A union of laughter displayed

This picture is not my home

I am the cypress, a center piece

Known on an ordinary day.

The only light desired is imaginary

created in me by Erebus

where imagination is sparked

And words of power infuse together

born from the lightning

in the darkened sky

It's important to go with whatever words come to you because they are words full of truth and different moments in our life give us different inspiration. We aren't exactly the same person our whole life. We learn, grow, heal, hurt, and our writing goes right along with it because our words are who we are. When you try to go back to working on what you previously wrote, it may be difficult because it's not aprt of you at this time. So it is possible to write new things at different times or put aside what you previously wrote to go with something else. Follow it.

Day dream

Picture on the wall.

I'm there, framed inside

where I touch the cold ledge

slightly wet from the facing sea,

swaying in its sparkling dress.

The tingling salt on my face

I feel from each new current.

The sweetness of flowers

doing back strokes in the water,

waving their stems

back at me.

The twirling breeze brings me

back to the days of freedom.

A child's summer delight

to stay out until the setting sun,

welcoming the new day.

The seagulls call.

I hear my name

in their continuous song.

Sounding clearer now,

I turn away and sit

outside the painting again.

What are you trying to say?

Sometimes it is possible to get caught up in our own work that we start losing what we are trying to get out in the first place. Maybe we are afraid of it not sounding good so we try to get it to look better but then we lose the meaning completely. It may be difficult to write without worrying about it not getting done or looking close to perfect but we need to first write out what we want to say as if we are talking with a friend. Just jot some things down first kind of like a pre-draft. Another idea is to start writing a poem or story the way you normally do and if you get stuck then try explaining what you want the reader to know or what you are trying to say. And then, start making it fancy if you like.

The same happens with titles. I find it extremely difficult to write titles in my poems because I'm focusing on what would look good and make the most sense BUT I'm forgetting that I need to remember why I am writing these poems- I am trying to express something meaningful and maybe I need to just get away from the abstract thinking and tell myself what I'm writing about. It helps me to understand what I am reaching for. Titles really are like the extra link of the poem to make it all come together.

It also helps to visualize the story or poem you are writing. In a story, picture yourself in it and ask yourself, what would I do if this actually happened? Then, write what you see and feel. In a poem, live through what you are writing and actually go right along with the feelings an emotions and try to see how you can relate to them. Maybe some images will come up that you can use in your poem- imagery in poems makes it come alive and a reader will be able to connect with what you are writing.

It is good to ask a friend, teacher or family member for their opinion to see what they learned from your work and what they understand from it. If they are confused, maybe it needs clarifying or a stronger focus or image. This may help you think of a title or something else to add into your piece. They can explain your work in a new way in which can give you more ideas.

Write what you see

So Lately, I have been feeling so blocked and every time I try to write something, I'm not into it because nothing comes to me- no thoughts, no inspiration. It is a terrible feeling especially when you need to write something and this time you can't just let the ideas gradually enter your mind. You begin to search for paces to go, looking around for ideas as if they are hiding in corners or on shelves. And then the settling comes. You begin to say, "Well, I'll just write about this then." But when you do that you aren't really interested or fascinated about what you are writing and your body and mind knows this so then they don't feel like helping out either. So now, you stop writing and you're back to figuring out what to do while thinking of all the work you still have along with deadlines, deadlines, deadlines!

It happens to everyone and this is exactly what I have been dealing with the past couple weeks. My best friend reminded me that when you really want something to happen or you're waiting for ideas to come, they usually won't come. This is because we are putting our energy and worry on not getting ideas so how are they supposed to come when we don't think about anything else? It is the pressure and doubt that festers and it is difficult to get back.

So what now? Well, the truth is, I need advice in this department too and sometimes it doesn't hurt to ask others what they think or what they do to escape the dreadful writer's block. Perhaps, other people can offer some suggestions about your own writing.

This is what I did actually. I vented a little bit in my Seminar class last week and I told some of my classmates that I'm stuck and I haven't been writing lately. One girl said that I should try looking at an object and writing about it; just focusing on this object and trying to describe it- how it looks, feels, etc. I thought about it and it is true. This can really help because we aren't focusing on the ideas we don't have- we have one right in front of us. This will present an opportunity to be more creative, exercise our minds to thinking differently without worry and maybe even being a little silly. If you want to use this as one of your poems go ahead, but don't put the pressure that it has to be a certain way. This is a pre-writing, getting out of your block exercise.

This can hold true for really anything we do. Whatever we see or do can be a poem or way for us to get our thoughts centered to see what we would like to write about. Sometimes it is about time and writing many things to see where your thoughts are or what you would like to write about. It's a process after all but once you write something new, it's a wonderful feeling.

A gift

When I was writing a poem several weeks ago, I suddenly had thoughts about writing another poem- it was like a rush of inspiration. I decided to pause what I was working on and go with the new thoughts that came to me. This new poem came to me. I didn't think of it on my own. This is the one I wrote in my previous blog. It may not be how we want it to look right away but we can revise it the way we want it to look. The important thing is to get the ideas down on paper first. I wrote this poem and then a week later I revised and I like the way it looks, however I still want to change a few things to it. Sometimes to get to what we really want, we have to write up to it, meaning we need to get as many ideas out as possible and see what comes to surface.

Many times, I get ideas to write but I might now always write them down right away and then eventually they become forgotten and almost impossible to retrieve again. These thoughts come to us for a reason, because it's passion that dwells inside us-a gift. And sometimes we might not always know what we are going to write and or how our work is going to look but it's important to go with out writer instincts. My seminar professor knew that the new poem I wrote came after the first one because of how it was written. She said that this is a gift.

Let in the thoughts that come and see where they take you because they come for a reason. It is a wonderful gift and it is something we all should embrace. We don't need to be a muse of inspiration for ideas to consistently be born at any given time. If this passion lives inside you- to write- then so does creativity. Don't block these thoughts or ideas because you don't feel like letting them in or you don't think they are good enough or won't amount to anything good. Like my teacher says, it is a gift and we need to listen- no matter what it is or when it comes. Then stand back and see the masterpiece you have written.